He wants you.

God wants to live this life together with you, to share in your days and decisions, your desires and disappointments.  He wants intimacy with you in the midst of the madness and mundane, the meetings and memos, the laundry and lists, the carpools and conversations and projects and pain.  He wants to pour his love into your heart and he longs to have you pour yours into his.  He wants your deep heart, the center place within that is your truest you.  He is not interested in intimacy with the person you think you are supposed to be.  he want intimacy with the real you.  


--"Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge

Today Was A Fairytale.

Today Was A Fairytale

by Taylor Swift

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

i am hopeful.

I. am. nervous. excited. anxious. comfortable. amazed. happy. joyful. thankful. hopeful.
I am ready cowboy.

A Little Pick Me Up.

If you need a little pick me up, or could just use a good laugh, allow me to provide you with a little entertainment :)  enjoy, my friends!

You are loved.

I wrote this for one of my friends today, but figured that it could serve as a reminder to all of us.

You are so loved.  I hope you know that.  If not, then please let me take the time to remind you...you are the daughter/son of the most high King.  There is no greater honor this side of Heaven.  He has personally chosen you and chased after you and made you His own.   He is so in love with you that He sent His only Son, so that you could have life.  He is so in love with you that He flows grace down from Heaven into your heart.  He is so in love with you that He created the sunrise and sunset, the moon and the stars, the oceans and the mountains, as a reminder to you that He makes all things beautiful.  Because you are beautiful.  He requires all of you; even the parts that you try to bury deep within yourself.  He wants all of you so that He can take you in His arms and whisper, "I love you."  He wants you to know that He will walk you through the valleys and push you to the top of the mountain.  He wants you to know that YOU ARE LOVED!

A Beautiful Reminder.

I love the days that I have to be to work at 7am.  It gives me a chance to be up before the world starts it's steady pace of demands.  As I was driving to work this morning, I was caught up in the beauty of the sunrise.  There was an array of orange, red, and pinks splashed across the sky in a the perfect spots.  I know that God painted that sunrise just for me.  It was his way of reminding me that I am loved and that He is still in control.  It was a beautiful reminder.

Find the person...

I have this hanging in my room.  It's too good to be kept to myself.


Find the person that you want to struggle with, fight with, care for, forgive; someone you want to serve, build up, and hangout with.  At the same time, find someone who won't over look your quirks and who will not let you get away  with less than your best.  When life is difficult, this person will put wind beneath you, will stand up for you, will see the best in what you do.  You need someone who will help you discover who you are by supporting you through your mistakes and cheering you on during your victories.  Find the person you would want on your team and whose opinions you value.  Finally, marry someone who draws you closer to your purpose and life-breath and who lifts your up to your Father's hands with his actions and words.


I want this for marriage someday.  I am determined to have this for my marriage someday. :)

Hand Grenade

Everyone should check out the song 'Hand Grenade' by The Almost.  I can't stop listening to it.  It's on constant repeat on my iTunes.  Check it out.  It makes me happy.  Maybe it will make you happy too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDSl_KMGC18

No more shopping....PLEASE!

Well, after one small fight, a pair of shoes, a necklace, a few articles of clothes from a second hand store, 'Crazy Heart' and some pizza and wine, our day is over.  And I am beat down.  Worn out.  Tired.  And don't want to go shopping for at least another month.  I really don't have much else to say.  My midnight deadline to get this posted is approaching.   I want to prove to a certain cowboy that I can get this done in time.  So, with that being said, you owe me 5 dollars for posting this before midnight.  (Sidenote: There was actually no bet made between myself and this cowboy, but I thought I would see if I could get 5 bucks out of him anyway). :)

Girls Weekend :)

My mom is here for the weekend, reaping the gifts of her Christmas present: Girl's Weekend in Lawrence with ME!  I have been looking forward to having my mom come and getting to spend some quality time with her, and maybe get in a few disagreement here and there (it is a must for every mother/daughter relationship).   Tonight we went to get massages and, oh my, that is just what I needed! You really should treat yourself to one every now and then.  Go ahead, just do it, I said it was okay :)  Tomorrow we will do some shopping; which during that time, I am sure that I will have some moments of regret that I included shopping on this weekend excursion.  For those of you that know my mother, she cannot just simply go into a store.  When she goes into a store, it is a requirement, in her mind, that we look at everything in the store.  Now, I am not saying this as anything negative.  I am simply stating this to note the difference in my shopping style versus my mothers.  I am more of a grazer.  I prefer to get in and get out; unless it comes to dresses, which is a weakness, and I will not walk out of the store until, at the very least, and as a last resort, I have looked at, touched and imagined myself in every dress in the store. There is something about putting on a dress that makes a girl feel pretty, and I guess that is where my obsession with buying dresses came from; I feel pretty in a dress.  There, I said it, and I hope you are happy :)  Hmmm....maybe I'll go put on a dress to write the rest of this...

So, after some much needed retail therapy, we will probably go see a movie.  "Which movie?" you might be thinking.  That, my friend, is a good question.  A chick flick is always a given when two women get together.  I'm not really sure why we, woman, love the idea of watching a move that we know is going to make us cry.  But nonetheless, we do! I do!  You do!  And so does she!  However, given the obvious choice of a chick flick (Dear John), a wise man who wears cowboy boots once told me to consider my other options (Crazy Heart).  Since it's my mom's weekend, I'll probably leave the choosing up to her.  

And, of course, good food is going to be involved.  You cannot have a girls weekend without overindulging in some good grub!  Which is exactly what we plan do and then regret it Monday morning when we are headed to the gym at 5am because we ate WAY too much.  (It's a vicious cycle).  

But please don't forget that a girls weekend is not complete until you have sung, even if it is only in the confines of your own head, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!'by Cyndi Lauper.  With that being said, I going to dream about Cyndi in her incredibly awesome 80's gear and hair the size of America, singing "Oh girls, just wanna have fun...." (sing it with me!)

'The Eyes' continued....

How could I ever 'love shove' this beautiful dog away?!  She does a great job of giving me 'the eyes' which causes me to become a big ball of mush :)

'The Eyes'

I look forward to the same thing everyday when I get home: Presley waiting by the door, tail franticly wagging, ready to greet me.  It never gets old.  After she greets me, she usually follows me around for a good five minutes to see what new smells she can find on me.  By about minute one, I get tired of her sniffing me, so I usually try to push her away.  Today was alittle different.  We went through the same routine, except she would not stop begging me for her attention.  I was starting to get slightly annoyed with this behavior and was about to push her away until she gave me 'the eyes'.  Anyone that has a dog, knows what I am talking about.  For those of you that have not experienced 'the eyes', take note that if you ever do, you must quickly turn the other way before you become a big ball of mush and you get sucked in.  You will know when you become a victim of 'the eyes.'  After Presley gave me 'the eyes', I sat down and gave her the attention that she was demanding of me.  All she wanted was five minutes of my time to be reminded that she was loved and that she was a priority during my busy day.
I think about how many times God has demanded my attention and I have tried to push Him away because I was annoyed, tired, inconvenienced, selfish....
The King of the Universe wants to know that we love Him and that He is priority during my busy day.  Most times, out of selfishness, I turn the other way when He is demanding any part of me.  I refuse to continue down this path of selfishness but will, instead, walk towards Beautiful.
(For all you animal lovers, Presley was not, nor has she ever been, injured when I have pushed her away.  It is more of a loving shove, than a push.)

Romans 8:38-39

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39

Fear

Taken from the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge:
"The Evil One had a hand in all that has happened to you.  If he didn't arrange for the assault directly---and certainly human sin has a large enough role to play---then he made sure he drove the message of the wounds home into your heart.  He is the one who has dogged your heels with shame and self-doubt and accusation.  He is the one who offers the false comforters to you in order to deepen your bondage.  He is the one who has done these things in order to prevent your restoration.  For that is what he FEARS.  He FEARS who you are; what you are; what you might become.  He FEARS your beauty and your life-giving heart.
And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration.  For there is One greater than your Enemy.  One who has sought you our from the beginning of time.  He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul.  Let us turn now to him."


I want to be FEARED by my Enemy.  I want him to cower down every time I speak.  I want him to run in the other direction when I wake up in the morning.  I want him stand captivated by the beauty of my heart.  I want the Evil One to FEAR my restoration.

Emergency Room :(

I just got back from spending 5 hours in the ER with one of my consumers (for those of you that have a heart, he is fine!).  Talk about fun :)  I am tired and going to bed so I can be up in about 5 hours to go back to work.  Sometimes I don't like being a grown up....

69 years of marriage...

Today after church, a group of us went to a nursing home in town to spend Valentine's Day with the residents.  It was a very unique and wonderful experience.  Dancing, crowing a king and queen, food, and conversation was all involved.  The first half of my experience was rather....interesting.  After having a very inappropriate conversation and being practically felt up by one of the male residents (none of the inappropriate conversation or  being felt up was done by me, by the way), I met a very lovely couple, Lucy and Clarence.   You couldn't help up notice them when you walked in.  Clarence was in a wheelchair because of a missing leg, and he sat there staring off.  Lucy was right next to him, holding his hand.  It was a beautiful scene.  However, after talking with them, you began to truly see how beautiful it was.  Lucy and Clarence have been married for 69 years!  69 years!!!  They told us about how they had suffered many things during their marriage but they came out standing....together.  Lucy did most of the talking because it was hard for Clarence to talk.  As she was talking about their life together, Clarence just sat there, nodding his head to agree with her.  You could see how much they still loved each other, even after 69 years of marriage.  I pray that when I do find the person I marry, that we can continue to love each other more and more each year....hopefully even 69 years later!  Lucy and Clarence brought hope to a heart that needed to be reminded that even after 69 years of marriage, God will sustain a marriage that seeks His face, together.

After a wonderful afternoon with our new friends, some of my wonderful friends came over to celebrate my birthday with cake!  It was great to be with them all, to talk, laugh, and just enjoy each other.  After cake, they presented me with a present....of a $215 for my missions trip to Peru!  I was completely blown away by their generosity and love for me.  I cannot put into words how blessed I am.  God once again has been more than faithful to me, with the most amazing friends AND by proving to me (over and over) how powerful He is!  
"But I will reveal my name to my people, and they will come to know its power. Then at last they will recognize that it is I who speaks to them" --Isaiah 52:6    I am so glad that He is on my side :)  What more could a girl ask for on her birthday?!